How to Find the Right Therapist

While the stigma of seeking therapy for help with life’s challenges is starting to decrease, there’s no denying that going into a room and sharing your life story with a complete stranger is very intimidating. And even more so if it’s information you’ve never shared with anyone else before! And if you’re a couple, it can be even more difficult finding someone who you feel clicks with both of you. So how do you go about finding the right fit for you?

Some initial pieces to consider…

1. Insurance or private pay
2. For some people, this is an absolute necessity to be able to afford therapy and that’s okay! It will save you a lot of time and energy if you come in knowing that, so that while you’re searching for the best fit, you can narrow down your filters to who is in-network. You can determine who is in-network by filtering on websites like Psychology Today or Therapy Den, or by simply asking your insurance company to provide a list of providers in-network
3. Your schedule
4. Do you have a lot of flexibility in your schedule or do you only have time in the evenings or weekends? The latter are hot commodities in the therapy world, so asking in advance if that therapist typically has evening/weekend appointments available will also quickly help narrow your search
5. Location
6. Are you willing to make the drive for the services offered, or do you need to keep it local? Make sure to look within your zip code and a certain mile radius within that to help narrow down your options

Once you’ve narrowed things down a bit…

1. Take a look at people’s websites/profiles on professional pages
2. Does it seem like they offer the types of services you need (i.e. if you’re experiencing trauma, you probably want someone who specializes in trauma work, if you need someone to see your child, make sure they accept kids, etc.)? Do they look like someone you feel you’d mesh with?
3. Call and ask if they offer free phone consultations
4. Many therapists offer this option because we want to make sure we’re a good fit for you and vice versa. If we know we can’t provide the best services possible to you, we want to be able to give you referrals to people we feel would be a better fit. And that way you can get a sense of the potential therapist’s personality too
5. Check out 3 therapists and see who you feel you connect most with
6. Sometimes it’s hard to feel like you have to go back to the drawing board when you just pick one person and schedule with them and it doesn’t work out. But if you have a few people in mind and meet with each to see what they offer and if their style aligns with you, it tends to have a better outcome
7. Don’t be afraid to ask for a referral.
8. It might be a bit intimidating to tell someone “hey, this isn’t working,” but I promise you, as therapists, if it doesn’t feel like a good fit for you, we want to be able to give you referrals for someone else you might feel more comfortable with. Most of us won’t take it personally because we know that getting along with your therapist is one of the biggest factors to determining if someone is going to recover. So if the person you chose doesn’t quite feel right, ask them for some referrals.
9. If all else fails, ask friends or family or even other therapists you know for some referrals for who they’ve worked with in the past that they’ve found to be helpful.
10. But again, remember to read that person’s bio and see if they’re trained to work with what you’re coming in for (and ask if you’re not sure)

Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask your therapist for what you need more or less of. Most of us are open to feedback and want to work with you in the way that you relate best to the world. So if your therapist is talking too much or giving you too much homework or not taking the time to check in with what’s going on with you that week (whatever it is that you need), ask them! We love feedback.

While starting therapy can be intimidating, narrowing down the possibilities to help you find the right fit can be a way to help alleviate some of the anxiety around meeting with someone new for the first time. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!

‍