Erectile Dysfunction Treatment Approaches
Erectile dysfunction is a problem that affects approximately 52% of men, though the majority of those are over the age of 40, and the rate continues to increase with age. Erectile dysfunction is considered the inability to get and/or maintain an erection during intercourse, which tends to be distressing to the individual experiencing it. While this tends to be a problem affecting men as they continue to age, it can also impact younger men as well, which can be especially distressing, since a lot of negative messages can come up around the idea of feeling one’s “equipment is broken” or they aren’t “man enough” (not to be confused with the fact that these messages can also come up for older men as well). Therefore, when these issues arise, how can they be treated?
Typically the first line of defense when erectile dysfunction (ED) occurs is to get a medical examination. It’s imperative to rule out any medical factors that could be impacting the situation such as hypertension, medication interactions, thyroid issues, etc. The doctor will usually prescribe some sort of medication (as long as there isn’t an interaction) such as Viagra or Cialis to help with the problem. For many gentleman, this tends to resolve the matter and they can continue to live life as normal.
However, for some, this isn’t enough. Some men will try cock rings or penis pumps to keep blood in the penis to help it function “as normal”. While this is also a viable solution, for some, this still doesn’t resolve the matter.
When all else fails and physical problems are ruled out, that’s when a sex therapist tends to come in. Treatment still tends to be in combination with medication, but we will also begin to explore some of the underlying problems that might also be impacting the ability to get or maintain an erection. The problems can vary from intimidation/low self-esteem, excessive porn use, infidelity, etc.
For men who are feeling intimidated or not-good-enough for their partner, it’s important to examine the negative messages that are running through your mind, particularly leading up to and during sex. If you’re constantly telling yourself, “this is going to end badly,” “I’m terrible at this,” “he/she’s just going to be disappointed,” you are setting yourself up for failure. This falls in line with self-fulfilling prophecy, which is basically that if you keep telling yourself you can’t, you won’t. If you keep telling yourself you can, you probably will be able to. Our minds have a powerful impact on our bodies, and you must change the way you’re speaking to yourself in order to see real change. Additionally, practicing mindfulness is very helpful for working on staying in the present moment. Rather than focusing on what is or isn’t happening with your penis, focus on the pleasure sensations that are happening. Notice the smells, the tastes, the sensations (hot/cold, light/heavy touch, etc.) that are going on during self-pleasure or partnered sex. When you start getting out of your head and start getting into what’s happening in the here and now, anxiety starts to decrease and pleasure begins to increase.
For men who are unable to get or maintain and erection due to seeking pleasure outside of your partner, the problem is a bit more complex. It would be beneficial to determine why you need to seek pleasure outside of your partner and the impact it’s having on your ability to connect. While there’s not necessarily something wrong with seeking self-pleasure through porn or having multiple partners (with consent, not an affair), if there’s secrecy around it, if you’re subconsciously distancing yourself from your partner because you prefer those other means of pleasure more than him/her, it’s going to be important to address those concerns, whether in therapy, with a coach or trusted mentor, etc.
While this doesn’t cover all of the treatment options or even all of the possible causes, it’s a good starting point to get a sense of where you think the problem finds its roots.
As a general rule of thumb, ED is treatable and not something you have to struggle with for forever. It’s important to determine the underlying causes and work on treatment in order to find the best solution for you. Reach out to your primary care physician to get the process started on creating positive change for your life!
