The New Year’s Resolution Your Relationship Needs: Setting and Achieving Relationship Goals Together

The start of a new year is often a time for fresh beginnings and lofty personal goals, like hitting the gym more often or finally starting that hobby you’ve always dreamed about. But what about your relationship? While many people focus on self-improvement, setting goals as a couple can bring a new sense of connection, teamwork, and shared purpose to your relationship.

Here’s why relationship goals should top your resolution list—and how to make them a reality.

Why Set Relationship Goals?

Relationships thrive on intentionality. Taking time to reflect on where you’ve been and where you’d like to go together can strengthen your bond and provide clarity for the year ahead. Couple goals can:

• Enhance communication
• Align your values and priorities
• Help you grow as individuals while supporting each other
• Build trust through teamwork

Whether you’ve been together for six months or 20 years, goal-setting fosters connection by shifting the focus to us instead of just me.

Types of Relationship Goals to Consider

Every couple is unique, but here are some categories to get you thinking:

1. ‍Emotional Goals:Strengthening your connection by having weekly check-ins, practicing gratitude, or being more vulnerable with one another.‍
2. Physical Goals:Exploring new ways to prioritize intimacy, like scheduling time for intimacy, trying a new activity together, or even improving your overall health as a team.
3. ‍Financial Goals:Creating a budget, saving for a big trip, or tackling shared debt.‍
4. Recreational Goals:Trying a new hobby, taking a class together, or planning more adventurous date nights.

How to Set Relationship Goals: A Step-by-Step Guide

1. ‍Reflect Together: Set aside time to talk about the past year. What worked well in your relationship? Where did you face challenges? This isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness and understanding.‍
2. Identify Shared Values: Discuss what’s important to both of you. Is it spending quality time together? Building financial security? Improving intimacy? Shared values will guide your goals.
3. ‍Set Healthy Expectations: While it’s great to dream big, goals that are too ambitious can lead to frustration or disappointment if they aren’t achievable given your current life circumstances. Consider:
   • Your time and energy: How much bandwidth do you both have right now? Are you juggling work, parenting, or caregiving responsibilities? 
   • Your current relationship stage: A newer couple may focus on building trust, while long-term partners might focus on reinvigorating connection
   • Your resources: Financial or physical limitations can influence what's feasible
   • Example of healthy expectations: 
     • Instead of committing to “planning extravagant date nights every week,” aim for something more realistic like “one intentional date night every month.”
     • If intimacy feels strained, rather than setting a goal to “fix everything,” focus on reconnecting with small, consistent steps, like holding hands daily or sharing a meaningful conversation once a week.
4. Get Specific with SMART Goals
   • Make your goals: 
     • Specific: “Plan a monthly date night” instead of “Spend more time together.”
     • Measurable: Define success clearly—e.g., saving $5,000 for a vacation.
     • Achievable: Consider your current commitments and resources.
     • Relevant: Ensure the goal aligns with your shared values.
     • Time-Bound: Set a timeline for achieving your goal.
   • Example: improve communication in your relationship
     • Specific: Have a 20-minute weekly check-in on Sunday evenings to talk about feelings, challenges, and plans for the upcoming week.
     • Measurable: Track how many check-ins you complete over the next three months.
     • Achievable: Set a timer to ensure the check-in doesn’t run too long and plan it for a time when both of you are relaxed.
     • Relevant: Strengthening communication aligns with your shared value of staying connected emotionally.
     • Time-Bound: Commit to this practice for 12 weeks and reassess its impact at the end of that period.
5. Write it down: Document your goals somewhere visible, like on a shared app or a vision board, to keep them top of mind.
6. Schedule regular check-ins: Life gets busy, so schedule time to review your progress as a team. Celebrate small wins and adjust as needed.‍
   

Maintaining Accountability

Accountability is easier when you’re in it together. Cheer each other on, acknowledge each other’s efforts, and practice patience if things don’t go perfectly. The journey is just as important as the destination.

Get Your Free Goal-Setting Guide 

Ready to set meaningful goals with your partner? Download our free intention setting PDF to guide you through the process step by step! This worksheet is designed to help you reflect, plan, and take action as a couple.

Start the Year Strong

The best part about relationship goals? They’re about growth, not perfection.By setting and working toward shared intentions, you’ll build a stronger connection and a greater sense of partnership.

 So, as you’re writing your resolutions for the new year, take a moment to dream, plan, and grow together. Your relationship will thank you for it.

‍

Photo credit: Ronnie Overgoor on Unsplash